you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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