i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
