Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
there is glitter all over my balls
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