your thong is hanging out like whoa
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
