i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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