The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
