I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
