I love black thongs
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize