I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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