Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
