he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
