I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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