And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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