Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize