I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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