i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
