Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
