that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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