i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
