Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize