I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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