There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
