My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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