I CAN MOONWALK!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
