Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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