zippers are such a cool invention
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
