wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
