...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
