Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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