I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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