dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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