she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
