I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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