I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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