I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
