i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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