i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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