I can text with my tongue
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
