it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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