her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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