I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
