her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
