the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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