I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
