i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He had one of those small greek statue penises
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
did i walk over a car last night?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
