Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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