i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
