evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
