Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
