He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize