Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
