Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
