He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
that's an acceptable place to lick
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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