The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
