We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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