I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
