Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
