you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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