Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
