I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
