thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
