can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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