Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
All I want is dick and wine.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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