I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
