At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
