Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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