Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
