i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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