Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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