New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Bring me that man meat
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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