Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
