maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
