I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
