all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
