i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
