Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
