Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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